So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day……

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7.. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’

So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am, I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’ My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

Perfect.

You’ll find all of Brandon’s sexy photos at For The Girls.

See the rest of this sexy photoset at For The Girls – Hot and sexy hardcore for women

First we watched the new Mummy movie.  It was ok, but not as good as the original.  But Dark Knight, wow was that ever good!  I feel Heath Ledger should win an oscar for his role as the Joker.  He played a psychopath better than any other person I’ve ever seen. His performance way out shined everyone else, although the rest of the cast did well too.  The action was intense, and almost non-stop throughout the movie, with some great twists that kept you guessing as what would happen next.

If you like action movies that are pretty dark, then you will love Dark Knight.   Here is my favorite desktop image I found on the web, enjoy.

The Wedding Fairy

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary, in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”
The wife answered, “Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling, husband.”
The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than I.”
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish, so the fairy waved her magic wand and poof…the husband became 92 years old!
The moral of this story: men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50 birthday. She
spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On
her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind
my asking, but how old do you think I am?’ ‘About 32,’ is
the reply.’ ..’Nope! I’m exactly 50′, the woman says
happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and
asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl
replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’…..The woman replies with a
big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’

Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops in
a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to
the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning
question. The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’ ….Again she
proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man
waiting next to her the same question. He replies,
‘Lady, I’m 78 years old and my eyesight is going.
Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell
how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires
you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only
then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’ They wait in
silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best
of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’

He slips both of his hand under her blouse and begins to feel
around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each
breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her
breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay….How old
am I?’ He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes
his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’ Stunned and amazed,
the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’
The old man says, ‘Promise you won’t get mad?’

‘I promise I won’t’ she says. …….

‘I was standing behind you at McDonald’s.’

Last night my wife and I were sitting in the den and I said to her,
“I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine
and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of
life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my beer.

She’s such a bitch.

He saunters into the house and says to his wife,
“Notice anything Different about me?”

Bessie looks him over and says, “Nope.”

Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks
back into the room, completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asks, a little louder this time,
“Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?”

Bessie looks up and says,
“Ray, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down
yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”

Furious, Ray yells,
“AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, BESSIE ?
IT’S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!”

To which Bessie replies,
“Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat.”